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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Friday, January 21, 2005, 3:57 PM

CHINESE DANCE
Actually i was very upset 2 weeks ago because i was been booted out of the front row to dance at the back row.I am not saying the back row is all lousy dancers.Just that the way teacher arrange is the front row is all the stronger dancer while the back row is one of the not so skill in their dance.I keep asking myself what went wrong.What is this thing keep happening to me?.Why am i am always dancing in the back row?Before every dance practises or the day before i will make sure that i practise all my steps clearly and remember it by hard..Sometimes i wondered what is the used for to practise so hard when the teacher dont even gain recognition from you? I just feel that the teacher thinks very poorly of me.I think she doesnt likes me at all.Even if that is the case,I have at least 3 years of dance experience and i even participated in the SYF before.It couldnt be that my dance is too lousy?.I can half admit that my dance steps can be better than some in the front row.I am not showing off but that is true!.Even those who are my juniors are entitled to dance in the front row.But why not me?I am greatly upset over this matter..I think of ways to make myself happier.Keep telling myself that even if teacher put me in the back row,I must prove her wrong that i can dance well.I try to think in a positive way.Until now i still cant forget this humiliation when teacher infront of everyone told me to dance at the back.All the while i know that she doesnt likes me. For example, for one dance step i was actually the closet to one dancer and i was suppose to dance that step but she doubts my ability,in the end she asked another girl to dance my step. I was so upset over it.I really dont understand why. I was the one who was booted out but yet my friends say"i just now really very scared leh,i thought teacher is going to ask me to dance at the back". In my heart i was like "hey..god damn..i was the one who was been booted out..do you know how i feel?the humailation?the effort,the sweat and time that i wasted?.You should count yourself luckly that you are not the one"..I was damn irritated by it.Well i dont want to talk about it..It really makes my blood vessels boil.
SCHOOL
School for me was practically very stressful. I got loads of homework to do everyday. The target for nlevel i set for myself was quite high but i really hoped that i can achieve that goal.My aim for this year is also to be in the top3 in class.On top of that, i am really very stressful with one of my friends presence. I wont say who she is..Yes,she is just my friend. Yup, I know she is hardworking. But certain actions she do really makes me very irritated. The way she look at me in class, looking/spying at me doing school work,copying notes really make me very ignored. Not that she unhappy with me or what nor is i am sensitive. She is just afraid that i am smarter or her or whatsoever. Well, i dont know what is the main reason for her looking at me . But by all means to win me, I am fine with it. She love to call me to ask about homework. DO YOU KNOW IS VERY IRRITATING?..Well,the number of phone calls she call me have already been lesser unlike last year,every single day without fail also will call me. Even my whole family find her very irritating. She really make my blood vessels boil.She is really obessed with her studies, obessed till people find her annoying.