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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Friday, October 20, 2006, 12:59 PM

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO ME.
Thanks everyone who wish me happy bdae be it through sms or msn,i really appreciated it.
Well,this year is just like any ordinary bdae for me as i dont even have the mood to celebrate it.Indeed lots of thing had happened that make me become stronger and braver.Maybe some may or may not be aware about it.I'm glad i learn alot for this past 1 year be it happy or sad memories.Love is blind.When you fall for someone,it is just the instant feeling that make you feel it is impossible for you not to be with him.I has that kind of feeling ever since i met him last year.I dont know if i should say fate bought us together because if i had taken my o's last year then it is highly unlikely that i am going to know him.Same for him if he's entering NS beginning of this year and not in june.He's the one who hurt me so deeply yet i can still post this entire entry.Love is not about brooding about the past but is to forgive this person.Can i do it?I admitted that he had cause me pain,hurt and saddness.Whenever i am with him,he never failed to make me sad,worried and even hate him to some extent.But he did give me sweet memories which till now i am still unable to forget.After all,maybe we are not meant for each other.I told him there's no turning back for both of us.He's not even ready to commit into a r/s so why should i hold on to this r/s?It is really heartbreaking to see it end here because i had put in so much effort to do what i can do for him.In the end,he still doesnt appreciate it and till now the cause of our break-up was still UNKNOWN.He said he's stress.What about me?I have to stress about studies and HIM.Have he ever considered how i feel and asked me what i really want?What he told me was to be that guy whom have been courting me for the 10months.He himself should know i dont love him at all.So i text him a msg and say"why are u asking me to be with someone i dont love at all?"Well,his reply was kinda of stupid.I dont wish to mention.

Everything will be fine maybe 1 year later?I dont know.I wont disappoint my friends and family who have pin high hopes of me going to poly.I will spend my time wisely to mug hard for the coming o's.

I seriously hope u understand how i feel.I dont wish to be with you anymore.Stop giving me false hope.