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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006, 11:38 PM

Disheartened.
Demoralise.
Stress.

My life revolves all about studies now.
Please let me brave through this crucial period.
Sigh.




Sunday, September 24, 2006, 4:06 PM

Was down with a bad sore throat yesterday.
Went to see a doctor but thankfully it is not serious.
My left eye what seem to be like swollen is actually a small pimple.
If it does not go away in 1 month time then i will need to go for a small surgery to remove it.
How horrifying could that be.arghh..I hate seeing my eye in such a pathetic state.
Many of my friends told me it is a serious swell forming on my eyelid but i long ago suspected that it was a small pimple.
Anyway,bought a new speaker yesterday but it is currently still not functationing and I and my dad have to make a 2nd trip down to get it fix properly.
So many things to ranted about but i cant still to know how to start.
Yup.I know prelims was offically over last friday and the big o's is just around the corner.I guess everyone is feeling the anxiety and stress around them.
I'm looking forward for my new life in poly,the enviroment and everything.

Well,everyone.Prelims results might be disastrous.
Gd luck to me.=)




Wednesday, September 20, 2006, 1:37 PM

Damn it.My speaker broke down and i cannot listen to any songs!
Prelims is going to end and i really need to mug hard for my olevels.
Worst of all getting back all my prelim results next week.Hopefully,i score a decent grade if not i'm going to bang hard on the wall.




Saturday, September 16, 2006, 2:00 PM

Exam fever for this whole day till next friday.I hope i didnt screw up my prelim papers because i felt that i didnt give my best.It's the first time that i actually screw up my maths p2 and i couldnt do most of the questions.I left the hall feeling dejected and demoralise.Even weiling also agreed that the maths p2 was difficult.Sigh.I asked myself if i didnt prepare or have i not put in enough effort.Whatever it is,I'm still feeling down.Combined humanities paper was alright but hopefully i write down the correct points and my arguement was right.The rest of the papers,i've got no comments.Now i'm left with physics,chemistry and poa.Physics is also 1 of the subject that i'm weak in.Nevertheless,i will still try my best to do it.


I'm back with him after a few heart-to-heart chat.He broke up with his gf not because of me but because of some reasons.I'm really in a confusion whether to commit myself in this r/s.Yes,I do love him like how much i love him last time but it is still difficult for me to put my whole heart to love him again.He also admitted that he knew he hurt me very deeply and he promise to do whatever i want him to do to repay all my sufferings for these 7months.I told him i still did not trust him and i want him to change for the sake of himself.He agreed and just within 1 week,may or maybe he did change.He contact me almost everyday be it when he is in his camp or at home.He will not failed to text me a sms or give me a call.It sort of give me a impression that he did change alittle but i told him it's not enough.He say he will wait for the day that i will trust him wholeheartly.I re-read those messages that he send like "dear i love u so much and miss u too".Never did he send me those kind of msgs.Every now and then,he will text msgs and say he misses me badly whenever he is back in his camp.My heart aches when i read those msg because he's so near to me yet we cant see each other.Maybe you guys might think that those are sweet-talk msgs but i know him too well.If he doesnt contact me means he wont even bother to care about me.Even a call or sms wont appear in my phone.Now when he text msgs to me, i will take half an hr to reply.Well,last time was the reverse.He wont even bother to reply my msg or go M.I.A for a few days.I have thought alot like being with him,i will defintely face parents objection.I'm loss of words.I just want to concentrate on my o's.




Tuesday, September 05, 2006, 8:32 PM

I'm so sick and tired of everything.




Sunday, September 03, 2006, 5:56 PM

"I Think I Love You".

Forever only mine.




Friday, September 01, 2006, 11:41 AM

Oh gosh,my left eye is still abit swell.Feel so depressed for the last two days particularly because of my eye.Currently very in love with this korea drama called "My Lovely Samsoon".It's story plot is very much similar to what i had encountered before.Everytime when i watch this drama,memories came assailing me which left me breathless.I wish the person who is hurting me was not him.Well,the story goes like this..The lead actor have a agreement with the girl that they will try to be steady gf and bf and if either one who broke this pact will have to pay 50 million won.The guy treated her as if she was the happiest woman on the earth and initially the girl didnt have any feelings for him.It was his actions,promises and words that he have said to her make her feel so touched and secured.She thought that she had meet her MR RIGHT and she love him more and more each day.Therefore,she confessed to him one day and say "i think i have fallen for you.If you leave,you'll regret".But the guy left proceeding to the hotel where his ex-gf live.After many talking and explaination,he finally patch things up with his ex-gf.A few days have passed but the guy failed to return back to his workplace.The girl waited and waited,send many msgs to tell him how much she miss him and she was really very worried about him.The most heartbreaking news was she saw it in her own eyes that he was with his ex-gf.From that moment,she felt like thousand of needles poking in her heart.She gave a good lecture and scolded him for hurting her heart and giving her all those empty promises like she cant talk to any guys and even promise to climb the mountain with her.He was speechless and said he really wanted to climb the mountain.But those were empty promises,he was contradicating himself.Nevertheless,I hated that guy character in the role.Fucking bastard.Totally a turned off to me.Perhaps,i was too agitated while watching that drama.Considering the fact that the girl had previously been hurt very deeply by her ex-bf.How could she accept another huge blow again?Have guys ever spare a thought for girls?I don't know.I am in dilemma.


I know my friends have been falling out of love these days and is having a rough patch.I knew this period is going to be tough.I've experience it and i knew very very exactly how it feels.I want to tell you that even if you lose someone you once very deeply in love be it he ditch you,hurt you so deeply,life still goes on.You must not have the phobia in stepping into a r/s again.You must look forward in life and dont ever turn back again.Those hurtful and sad memories have to be put behind.Sweet memories is meant to be kept only.


P.S Knowing that you still feel hurt and miserable about him.I really dont know how to help you