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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005, 3:02 PM

Yupppp.49 more days to my prelim!Time passes sooo fast.Yesterday, I had my chinese oral test.Teacher say I only can get a merit during the actual Nlevel exam.I am quite demoralise after hearing it.Well, nvm my comand of chinese is not very good also,just hoped that I can get at least a b3 for my written chinese paper.*PRAYS HARD*Ohhh..gosh..I want to speak fluent chinese!!My reading was fine but the conversation part,my teacher say I couldnt express myself properly.My conversation is lously.Anyway, next tuesday is my actual Nlevel english oral exam.*God bless me*I only have like 1 more week to prepare?Hopefully everything goes smoothly.After the english oral exam have over,the following week we be having chinese oral exam.I must start to practise my english and chinese oral everyday.Recently I was caught in this dilemma,as you know,my school chinese dance was invited to perform at plaza singapura on the 16th of July.Mdm ding wanted all the sec 4NA students to come back to perform because we are short of dancers and also the instructor couldnt find the time to change the dance steps.As a sec 4 student, we are supposed to step down and concentrate on our studies.My first reaction was"What the hell,last time I was given a care-leh-fair role and I slowly get into the main dancing group after struggling for 3 yrs+,now the teacher want I and my friends to dance again for the sake of the school and chinese dance."I was thinking,why should I?The teacher always scold I and my friends for nothing,why should we help the school?When they need us then they ask us for help,when they dont need us, they just kick us 1 side.Have they know how we truly feel?Are they trying to say nlevel is not important at all?My teacher keep pressurizing us,saying if we dont want to dance but at least help chinese dance to perform for the LAST time.My teacher give me a choice whether to dance anot.But in her eyes, I could see she wanted me to dance badly.If I didnt dance,she will be damn furious with me.Sorry.I cant help it.My studies is more important.Called me selfish or whatever.I dont care.YES.I feel guilty for not helping chinese dance.But have the teacher ever think,how much sweat and effort have I and friends contribute to chinese dance?The amount of time and engery spent during training?NO,never.They dont know how we feel.My sec 2 and 3 ,I got 100% attendance for my cca.You can see how devoted I am to my cca.I remember last month,my teacher reprimanded I and my friend for being ungrateful to our instructor.What the f***?We didnt and we will never do that.She is saying this because we told her we didnt want to perform at plaza singapura.She got the wrong idea of thinking that we dont want to come for practise and etc.She is always like that.Scolding people for nothing.Always thinking she was right..I have suffered enough.I have done my part for chinese dance.Whether she is happy,furious,unhappy or whether she wants to diao me in class.Fine with her.I and my friends are also human beings.Cant she just treat us nicely?She is always so bias,talking to her those china students in such a polite way.Always stare at I and my friends for nothing.WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?WHY MUST SHE ALWAYS TREAT US IN SUCH A HARSH MANNER?From my tone,you could really see how angry I am.This matter boils down in my heart for so long.Finally I can say all my feelings out,I feel so relieved.




Friday, June 24, 2005, 3:10 PM

Loads of homework to do!It is driving me nuts.I wanna watch Initial D.Siannnnn




Sunday, June 19, 2005, 3:15 PM

Yup..Back from holiday!Ate alot alot.Gonna become big fat PIG.And and stop mentioning to me about this word F-A-T..I really hate it.Gonna write a brief summary of what I have been doing this past 1 week.Basically this whole entry is all about food and MORE food.My eyes is damn tired now.Havent been resting my eyes because of continuously wearing of contact lenses for the past 1 week.1st day of holiday which was last saturday have seafood with my relatives.Yup.Have a early sleep because I was fatigued.Woke up around 10+am to have breakfast which was bueh ku tei(wrong spelling)whatever it is.The soup taste so niceeee..After that went to visit my grandmum.Went to slack around and rest.All right,the rest of the 6 days was all about eating and shopping.Wont elaborate further because I am doing this for 6 consective days.Well,1 more week to school reopened.Super boring.I hate more programme.

Few reasons school should drop the idea of having more programme

  1. Students wont score good results(I rather self study)
  2. Stopped me from taking my afternoon nap
  3. Less time to go online

Thats all.Cant think of what to blog.




Thursday, June 09, 2005, 11:24 AM
Yellowcard-Only one

Yellowcard-Only one lyrics

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only oneI let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one




Wednesday, June 08, 2005, 6:56 PM

"My boyfriend is type B".A hilarious and enjoyable movie.I love this movie to bits.Coincidently "HE" was also type B.This movie is very suitable to describe him.Go and watch this movie and you will truly understand how I feel.Well, dont talk about him.Spoilt my entire mood of the day!Yeah~! 1 more of remedial and I will be free!Going to pon friday's remedial.Thankfully,angie's relationship is stable now.So many things happen to she and her bf.One word to describe "complicated".Hope that they will have a blissful relationship.They really went through lots of up and down to be together.I really envy them as a couple but that doesnt mean I wanna find 1.I despise guys.HAHA.My fringe looks soooooooo ugly.I cant wait for my fringe to grow or even use a pair of scrissors to cut it off!Really looks "kuku".I wanna excerisssssssssseeeeeeeeeeee,I notice a layer of fats on my tummy.So disgusting.Havent been excerising for the past 1 month.*sigh*




6:41 PM

What a day.Raining heavily in the morning.Have 1 hour of poa lesson.History remedial was cancelled.It really irritates me as I make the effort to go back home and come out again for this remedial.Well,serve me right.My instinct told me to skip this remedial, but I wanted to be a good girl so I went back to school.Waste my time travelling to school.Well, I dont know is it a excuse for me not to like any guys.I seems to be prejudice against guys.I can be in a relationship anytime,the problem just lies in ME.(not saying I can anyhow find 1 guy).Am i fussy?Or is it my expectations for guys is too high?I have been frantically searching for my significant half but I cant seems to find anyone which foot my criteria.Till recently I have decided to lower my expectations and to follow my feelings when I saw any guys that I like.But after much struggle, I still cant bring myself to like any guys because "He"(not saying some) was below my expectations.I try not to judge his looks,his attutitde, his stingyness and his character.I even tolerate all of this above and try to accept it.But still I cant delude myself.His attutide?Seems so rude nowadays.He is famous for being stingy.Do you know i hate most about guys?Being STINGY.If you are stingy,you can drop the idea of going out.His looks?The boy-next-door,typical guy.His character?Very easily bored.You tell me,can I accept this type of guy?FAR FROM MY EXPECATATIONS.Yes, I have tolerate enough.End of it.I never never want to see him again.




Saturday, June 04, 2005, 4:11 PM
Tired

I am seriously drop-dead tired.Dont know whats wrong with me too.1 more week of remedial and I and off to Malaysia for 1 whole week!!Yeahhhh..Gonna play real hard and study real hard when I come back from Malaysia eat all I want,Play,Sleep and Shopping.Can someone give me some strength?I feel so weak.*Sigh*




Friday, June 03, 2005, 2:49 PM

Ya.Time to update my blog.So many things happened recently.I have thought of deleting this blog as I really dont have time to update it but I have grown to love this blog.Couldn't really bear to delete it as I have maintain it for 1 year.FINALLY.yuppie.Few days ago went to cut my fringe and trim my hair.Arghh..utterly disappointed with the outcome.I looked so ugly with my fringe.It is so short and ugly.I simply cant stand it.On the other hand, I feel so much better after triming my hair,it feel so light and refreshing.Really HATE my fringe alot.Damn it.Anyway,my hair still seems as straight as before.Today, I skipped my chinese lesson.Feel so guilty.I dont know where have all my determination and preservance gone.Getting A1 is still in mind but I cant seems to take any action to prove my capabilty.There are really alot alot alot alot of things for me to do during this june holidays.Yet, I havent even plan my schedule for this week.I got so much things to catch up for my studies.Eg:Intensive revision,holiday assignment,tution homework and etc.All in 1 month.Therefore, I must really really make use of my time.Really can go insane already.As the saying goes"Study hard and Play hard".I dont think agree with this phrase.I feel that school holidays is not for playing but more for studying.Really loathe Singapore's education system.So stressful.Yaya.I know you would say I am not even a express student yet I complain so much.Ya, I am.So what?Which student in singapore wont feel stress?

I have seriously make clear to him everything but he cant seems to get my hint.I am damn sick and tired of it.Can he understand how I feel before forcing me?Once again i wanna say"I DONT EASILY FALL FOR GUYS"..