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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Friday, April 29, 2005, 5:21 PM
Examssss

I got back my 2 physics test today.One is 6 and a half/25 and another is 8/25.I was utterly disappointed with this results.It is way below my expectations!Simply because I was sick the other time,therefore,I totally got no engery to study.This time round,I was going out for 2 full days.I managed to finish all my homework but I have got no time to revise for my test.Well,no matter how hard I work,I just could not be the top few in class.I feel very pressurized by my peers who achieve better results than me.I keep telling myself I must do better for every test but I fail to do so.I want the best out of everything.I will feel very depressed when I fail my test or something or even if I passed that particular test with a average mark I will feel the same too.I just feel very very very PRESURRIZE when my peers ask me about my marks as if like they want to challenge with me and etc.And they will give negative comment like so and so(normally a lousy student) is better than you and etc.I feel like I am going mad sometimes.And you can ask my friends around,i NEVER ask anyone their marks either good or bad unless they ask me.Even if i score quite a high marks,I will never ask them.I am not trying to be anti-social or something but I feel like it is better not to know it.I really really want to do well!!Can anyone enlighten me??I am really very stress out with my peers beside me.I still love the times during sec 1,when I conquered all of them.Now is the other way round.I sometimes feel very hurt by their remarks.I hoped this mid-year I could score exceptionally well and at least 2 or 3 A1.I really really hoped for.Ya.I am dying to get my A1.Well,I wont overstress myself.I make sure I have got ample rest.I still have lots of dream and goal to accomplish.After my mid-year exam.I am going to plan my time and make sure that I have enough time to do everything.
N-level goal
1.Improve of my chinese,english and physics*..thats for sure!
Future
1.Get 3-5 points for nlevel-get into the first Sec5Na class!
2.Get into a business course,JC was never my dream but IF can get then that is good.
3.Get into a prestigous university.
Right now,I truly understand why parents always emphasise the need to study and etc.I last time used to loathe studying.Sometimes I study for the sake of studying.Well,I dont want to be tie-down by the burden of having a bf.I think is purely a waste of time.I rather do something more meaningful.I hoped I can pass through every obstacles for this year and next year.Hopefully this passage way is what I wanted all this while.I want to live life to the fullest.