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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Wednesday, June 29, 2005, 3:02 PM

Yupppp.49 more days to my prelim!Time passes sooo fast.Yesterday, I had my chinese oral test.Teacher say I only can get a merit during the actual Nlevel exam.I am quite demoralise after hearing it.Well, nvm my comand of chinese is not very good also,just hoped that I can get at least a b3 for my written chinese paper.*PRAYS HARD*Ohhh..gosh..I want to speak fluent chinese!!My reading was fine but the conversation part,my teacher say I couldnt express myself properly.My conversation is lously.Anyway, next tuesday is my actual Nlevel english oral exam.*God bless me*I only have like 1 more week to prepare?Hopefully everything goes smoothly.After the english oral exam have over,the following week we be having chinese oral exam.I must start to practise my english and chinese oral everyday.Recently I was caught in this dilemma,as you know,my school chinese dance was invited to perform at plaza singapura on the 16th of July.Mdm ding wanted all the sec 4NA students to come back to perform because we are short of dancers and also the instructor couldnt find the time to change the dance steps.As a sec 4 student, we are supposed to step down and concentrate on our studies.My first reaction was"What the hell,last time I was given a care-leh-fair role and I slowly get into the main dancing group after struggling for 3 yrs+,now the teacher want I and my friends to dance again for the sake of the school and chinese dance."I was thinking,why should I?The teacher always scold I and my friends for nothing,why should we help the school?When they need us then they ask us for help,when they dont need us, they just kick us 1 side.Have they know how we truly feel?Are they trying to say nlevel is not important at all?My teacher keep pressurizing us,saying if we dont want to dance but at least help chinese dance to perform for the LAST time.My teacher give me a choice whether to dance anot.But in her eyes, I could see she wanted me to dance badly.If I didnt dance,she will be damn furious with me.Sorry.I cant help it.My studies is more important.Called me selfish or whatever.I dont care.YES.I feel guilty for not helping chinese dance.But have the teacher ever think,how much sweat and effort have I and friends contribute to chinese dance?The amount of time and engery spent during training?NO,never.They dont know how we feel.My sec 2 and 3 ,I got 100% attendance for my cca.You can see how devoted I am to my cca.I remember last month,my teacher reprimanded I and my friend for being ungrateful to our instructor.What the f***?We didnt and we will never do that.She is saying this because we told her we didnt want to perform at plaza singapura.She got the wrong idea of thinking that we dont want to come for practise and etc.She is always like that.Scolding people for nothing.Always thinking she was right..I have suffered enough.I have done my part for chinese dance.Whether she is happy,furious,unhappy or whether she wants to diao me in class.Fine with her.I and my friends are also human beings.Cant she just treat us nicely?She is always so bias,talking to her those china students in such a polite way.Always stare at I and my friends for nothing.WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?WHY MUST SHE ALWAYS TREAT US IN SUCH A HARSH MANNER?From my tone,you could really see how angry I am.This matter boils down in my heart for so long.Finally I can say all my feelings out,I feel so relieved.