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Marilyn Loh. Living life to the fullest :)

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Sunday, January 08, 2006, 6:10 PM

Well..well..well!!I am here to update my blog cause it seems so dead.First piece of good news is I got my $250 cheque already!Thats my edusave merit bursary award.Anyway,I have spent it to buy something.First week of school was quite alright, just that I didnt really put my full attention and concentration in class.I guess I am still in my holiday mood and something is bothering me.Going up to sec 5 is defintely not easy.This is my last and final year so i just want to get good grades and go to the desire course that I want.I will work very hard on those subjects that I am very weak in.Back to my cca,went to the first training session after 2 months of break,the instructor taught alot of new steps.I got a very hard time catching up with my the dance steps.*sigh*stress starts to raise upon me.I miss my past instructor & mdm ding.They are the one who train me to become who I am today.I am seriously very grateful to them but nevertheless I will never give up on dancing.=)I want to train on my flexibilty,improve on my dance steps and etc..I hope i can achieve what I want.
Seeing my friends happily attached to the one they love,of course I am happy for them.For me,I still lack of confidence and the courage to love someone.To me,loving someone is like a torture.I cant seems to find the right direction to walk on.I cant find the pillar of my strength.I am always lost somewhere.People always say i love the thrill of being woo by someone.Well,the answer is NO!I find guys wooing me a nuisance.They dont understand or know me and they claim that they love me.Love me because of what?My looks?My character or my body?I can be that straight-forward.They say they didnt mind looks but only character.BULLSHIT ALRIGHT!Who doesnt go for looks these days?Almost 50% of the people do.Stop telling me that you are going to show me your sincerity and I will be touch by you 1 day.NO ALRIGHT!My heart is dead.

IDIOT!!

I want to go shopping!
I want a digicam!
I want a mp3!
I want a new bag!
I want to paint my nails!
I want to find the real me!the girl full of laughter and craps.
I want a happier life!
PLS grant my wish.